Second grade

Last week Leta started second grade. I just had to let that sink in for a second because the memories I have of holding her in the earliest days of her life and thinking OH MY GOD, HOT POTATO! are distinct. So are the memories of her third year of life where she spent most of her time lying face down on the floor because that's the direction she had thrown her body.

The drop-off on her first day of preschool? Unbearable. Kindergarten? Just a tiny bit less unbearable. First grade? Heart-wrenching. Second grade?

"Bye," I said when it was time for me to leave.

"Bye, mom," she said.

"No, really. I'm leaving, Leta."

"That's what bye usually means."

"You going to be okay?"

She looked around and then lowered her voice to a whisper. "Can you please go now?"

"I'll take that as a yes."

Jon and I woke up that morning and said something to each other about preparing for the emotional bomb that would surely unfold. She handles anxiety like I did in that everything turns into an obstacle, and there were hints of this. Like when I walked with her upstairs and said, "I'm going to go put on my clothes, and while I'm doing that… you know... just get dressed."

She shook her head and emphasized several blinks. "JUST get dressed?"

"Yes," I said. "Just get dressed."

"But what about brushing my teeth? You're going to send me to school with dirty teeth?!"

"Wait, what?" I asked.

"You said JUST GET DRESSED. What about my hair? Am I supposed to brush my hair?!"

"When I said JUST GET DRESSED that meant your teeth and your hair included. It's a whole package."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN PACKAGE? Like something you pick up from the mailbox?!"

I held my mouth shut tightly for a second to gain my composure because I suddenly remembered what a nightmare it can be to get her dressed before school every morning. And this wasn't so much a nightmare as it was HOLY SHIT, I feel like I'm having a conversation with a person who has just smoked an entire joint.

I put my hands on her shoulders, kneeled down and said, "Please go put on your shirt and then your shorts. Then, brush your teeth and your hair. After that, go put on your socks and shoes. Finally, meet me downstairs."

This made so much more sense to her NOW THAT SHE WAS SOBER and she said, "Ok, phew. I didn't want to start second grade with dirty teeth."

ME NEITHER.

But then, that super awesome, no-drama drop-off. And the following day she told me that she just wanted me to let her out by the front door because she was in second grade and didn't need someone to walk her to class like a first grader. When she got out of the car I expected her to do a swanky side-step while singing "Grease Lightning."

And just like that, another major milestone in the rearview. I am the mother of a second grader.

Second grader

(This is a photo of her the week she started preschool. I just... whoa.)

09.01.2011 Daily, Leta, Parenthood 64 comments


  • Micaela said:

    You are making me sad. My little boy starts preschool next week. I don't think I'm going to be able to handle it.

    I used to tell parents that when their kids left without a fuss it was because they had raised them to be well adjusted children. While I still think that is true, you almost want at least a little fuss to know you are still needed.

    09.01.11 - 02:36 PM / 2

  • Lauren3 said:

    DUDE! SHE LOOKS AT LEAST 12 THERE! Leta burritoooooo... didn't you used to call her that sometimes?

    09.01.11 - 02:41 PM / 3

  • laura.elaine said:

    Love everything about this post. EVERY. SINGLE. bit. And hi: she's gorgeous! (I know: you know.) I love how people look exactly the same through the years and yet I'm always surprised at how they haven't changed. EVERY. SINGLE. time.

    09.01.11 - 02:50 PM / 7

  • HDC said:

    I was so stunned by that kid's photo, such a big girl! I was about to suggest that Jon needs to get himself up to speed on shotguns and other methods of boyfriend deterrence while he's got time. But come to think of it, seeing how bright that kid is, she's going to do quite ok on that front. Big sis seems to know what's up and is going to take care of herself just fine I suspect.

    09.01.11 - 03:00 PM / 8

  • fishsticked said:

    This was basically the female version of how our son went to his first day, and second, and third and . . . Here we were, prepared for craziness and then . . . nothing. Plus, I find this very amusing because he and Leta are almost exactly the same age, he too has a unique L name, and his analysis of the directions we give him make it seem like he dropped acid into his cereal before eating it.

    Another milestone, another year, with yet another to come before we know it.

    And that picture is not of a 7 year old . . . she's clearly at least 10.

    09.01.11 - 03:05 PM / 9

  • i.delia said:

    Last weekend we returned home with our 9 year old daughter after a neighborhood block party. It was nearly midnight-by far the latest she's ever stayed up (normally a 9pm bedtime). i sent her upstairs and said "get into bed".

    At nearly 1am I crawled into bed and realized there was a glow coming from her end of the hall. i walked down there and said "What are you doing? i told you to get into bed. I never said you could read!" and she turned to me and said "well, you never said I COULDNT READ EITHER!"

    yup, I'm 41 years old and got outsmarted by an overtired nine year old.

    09.01.11 - 03:17 PM / 12

  • Issa said:

    I love that you had to explain it to her like that. Seems that maybe not everything changes?

    Yay for second grade. Mine started fifth and second this year. I am now supposed to just let them out of the car as well. I am happy with it, but also a tiny bit sad.

    That photo is gorgeous. She looks so grown up. Especially since I went and looked at the one from preschool.

    09.01.11 - 03:18 PM / 13

  • rivetergirl said:

    So on the same page, sistah. My 11-year-old daughter started 6th grade in middle school last week.

    Middle school.

    She and both suffer from anxiety issues, too and I feel like I have that hair-and-teeth conversation every day.

    The joy is knowing our little anxious girls are neat and special in their own going-to-freak-out-about-everything way.

    At least they're not boring, eh?

    09.01.11 - 03:21 PM / 14

  • dooce said:

    @Lauren3 we used to call her Leta Dorito. Because that's all I ate during my pregnancy with her.

    09.01.11 - 03:46 PM / 18

  • mommica said:

    Leta is beautiful! My daughter has never had a problem with me going away. Everyone kept telling me when she turned one she would have at least SOME separation anxiety. I waited for it to happen every day that I dropped her off at daycare, and nothing. It was great, except for that little tinge of "Um, hello! Don't you love me?!"

    09.01.11 - 03:47 PM / 19

  • Essembee said:

    Oh god, I feel like an affectionate, slightly crazy aunty.. I want to pinch her cheek and say "My gosh Leta, you're such a young lady now!".

    Heather, Jon, you have a very beautiful Dorito baby.

    (obvs. she is also wickedly clever and very kind.)

    09.01.11 - 03:58 PM / 20

  • malisams said:

    Seriously beautiful kid you've got there. She looks self-assured and sassy. Also, is it weird to be jealous of a second grader's striped jumper and hair accessory? Whatever.

    09.01.11 - 04:15 PM / 22

  • apostate said:

    My son started his first day of the second grade today. I'm really hoping that this will be the year that we can end the routine of beginning every school morning with an incredulous: "WHAT? I have to go to SCHOOL today?" and also that when I ask him how school went, he won't reply "It was horrible!"

    (His teachers actually tell me that he likes school and does quite well but he won't give me the satisfaction of knowing that.)

    Most of all, I'm looking forward to school lunch resuming because his teachers sit by him and tell him to eat his food and he miraculously does it because he knows they don't put up with his picky, sensory issues, "I'm just going to eat one piece of bread today" bullshit there. Every day brings with it a new miracle. A bite of macaroni. Meatloaf. BBQ chicken. It's enough to bring tears to my eyes.

    Ah, the magic of school days.

    09.01.11 - 04:28 PM / 23

  • Danica said:

    Leta is so beautiful and poised and strong. I'm sure you'll see flickers of this throughout her whole life.

    09.01.11 - 04:49 PM / 25

  • LizinVa said:

    This past week, I sent my two oldest off to grad school (with apartments and cars and strange cities oh my!) and my youngest started her senior year of high school. I remember many of their first days of school, now I just marvel in the amazing people they have become.

    09.01.11 - 04:50 PM / 26

  • Totah Sam said:

    She is so frickin' pretty! Ya'll did good. Once gay marriage is nationwide I'm going to adopt five of those little darlin's :)

    09.01.11 - 05:06 PM / 27

  • MelissaJ said:

    wow! second grade; it doesn't seem possible. she looks so grown up.

    i always think marlo looks a lot like leta; and then i think she doesn't; then i looked back at that picture of leta and yep, they are sisters, to. be. sure.

    looking back at all that has happened and bringing it to this point...worth it...and well done!

    09.01.11 - 05:07 PM / 28

  • kidsakeeper said:

    Long time reader (soooo long!) first comment (EVER),
    and the only reason I am leaving this comment is because everyone like to hear nice things about their kids, and she looks beautiful. Really :)

    09.01.11 - 05:10 PM / 29

  • acemom3 said:

    I KNOW you hear it all the time but you will be dropping her off at college VERY soon! My children are in high school and college now and I really am having a hard time believing it. Enjoy your beautiful girls!

    09.01.11 - 05:48 PM / 31

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