ALTA.

Also, my Mormon SIL was assured this morning that Mormons are not Christian. I think she needs to move to UT where people will understand her. (Full disclosure: the co-worker who said this to her is not the most intellectually capable man on the planet)

Haven't been to Park City 'in' soooooo long.

And I guess I'll never go. : )

So my first night in SLC I wanted a night cap and so I went to the bar or at least it looked like a bar but it was actually a restaurant and they said I had to get food in order to get a drink. They offered me $3 peanuts.

And then I complained to a friend who is a State Senator (it's like I find politicians everywhere I go)and he was like 'thems the breaks, kid'. And I pouted. Then I went back to NY where I can drink all the Glenlivet I want until 4 AM. The end.

Also? I loved Solitude.

"No, we don't have happy hours, but we call it that anyway."

"No more drink specials, but there is this one place where you can get PBR for $1."

"If you move here you cannot live anywhere but SLC. You will die!"

I want it written in my will that I am never, ever to be posthumously baptized!

SOLITUDE!!!

The state is very pretty.

Dude, sorry to talk about posts of yore on this post, but fuckit. I've got something to say to some people:

Quit your misguided, immature whining. Ya'll need a dose of reality.

Heather does sponsored blog posts. This is because this website, Dooce.com, is a business that serves as her family's livelihood. She needs to make smart business decisions. It is free for us to visit her website, and we do it because we like to read it. If we don't like a post, we don't have to finish reading it. It is no skin off our backs if Heather does a sponsored post, but it IS skin off her back if she declines to do them just because some don't like it.

Also... do you read the posts? She writes them no differently than other posts. She talks about inappropriate shit in them!

The content of the site has changed, yes... because Heather's life has changed. This site has given her more notoriety, so she needs to be more careful about what she puts out there. Wouldn't you?

And, because she's good at what she does -- isn't it a good old American value, after all, that talent and hard work turn into success? -- she's been able to make a great living for herself and her family, and it's given her opportunities to do unique things.

In a previous post, someone said this: "I CANNOT RELATE to the ginormous house that looks like it came out of a magazine pictorial; the supermodel; the assistants and nannies and the trainers and the constant traveling here and there..."

Dude.... neither can I. But if I had the money, you can bet your fine ass I would move into a nicer house. And when I do, I will. Again... wouldn't you?

Have you ever seen her brag about it, though? Sure, she's posted pictures of it here and there because... this blog is about her life. And she lives there! You can also bet your ass I'd hire a dude to help me get more in shape, because ladies, I gots me some extra weight since college. Dammit.

And yeah, she met a supermodel. Because the supermodel's non-profit, which works on a cause that Heather is passionate about, asked Heather to help them do work. What would you have liked her to have done? Decline, because some people might not like her meeting a famous person? Miss out on a life-changing opportunity, because working with a supermodel would ruin her Everywoman appeal?

She has an assistant because she has a business that requires an employee. She doesn't have a nanny, for Jeebusake... she has a niece who helps her watch her kids while she works. This is help most working parents have, and the help comes in all different kinds of forms. Relatives, day cares, neighbors, etc.

And travelling... well this gripe I just plain old don't get. She travels to visit friends and family, and she travels on business. I don't see what is odd about this.

MY BOTTOM LINE IS THIS.

We all started to read this blog for some reason or another, and we continued to read because Heather is funny, has interesting stuff to say, and is a caring soul. I think this comes across pretty clearly in her writing.

Now there's apparently "weirdness" going on because Heather is going through a separation with her husband, and some of the results of that separation are awkward. But people, WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE STORY IS BEHIND THIS SEPARATION. We wanna know, duh, because lots of us have been reading Dooce for years. Does she owe it to us to tell us? Nope. But do we owe it to her to give her the benefit of the doubt and just let her work through this without getting a bunch of shit thrown her way? I would fucking think so.

Oh, and before anyone throws out the good old "rabid Dooce defender who just wants to lick Heather's boots" accusation/insult, to quote Kenny Powers:

Before you say anything, prepare to shut the fuck up.

I am a goddamn awesome friend. And no, Dooce isn't my friend, she lives in the Internet-- but I'mma speak up for her just like I would one of my friends, because I've been reading her for years, and she fucking deserves 15 minutes of my time to say this.

And... it's been a slow afternoon at work.

BONG.

"Sorry I have no idea what ward I'm in, I'm not Mormon..."

No, I'm not Mormon.

At least Salt Lake isn't a dry county!

If you are down in Southern Utah and see all of the "prairie girls" at Walmart, no, they aren't in a costume contest, they are poly fundies. I don't get it either.

I was going to say something but scrolling down past a page long comment made me forget my train of thought.
Hmm. What's an Alta? I know an Alto. That was a shifty motel that we used to stay at in the Smokies. I think it got bulldozed.

What do you mean which "ward" am I in? I don't know what you're talking about.
Why are you rubbing my shoulder like that? What are you looking for?
Wow, I've never had jello with carrots before.
Tell me again why we're discussing coffee consumption at drug prevention week at my kid's school?
Just potatoes, mushroom soup, sour cream, cheese, and cornflakes? STFU! I need to write that down.

Chris Buttars was joking when he said that, right? He had to be joking. Nobody would seriously say that... right?

"God I love the beauty of this state, I just wish the people of the prominent religion weren't such douchebags"

"Why is my address so weird? Well, you see the temple is at zero on a grid so you just go 6 blocks west and 44 blocks south and that is how you find me"

"Our streets are this wide because brother Brigham wanted them built so a wagon could turn around without needing to back up"

Related to above "the orange flags are here to help you cross the street without getting hit by a car"

"They call it happy valley because they named it themselves - we call it Stepford Valley"

Since the thread has been hajacked, I'll just say that Cami's style is a little much IMHO. I get that dooce is trying to help her career take off, but I don't really care for her style and I think most normal people would not dress that way. I would rather see something I might actually wear in public. Just my opinion.
Dlpelaez, be grateful you don't get the references. It's better than getting the references but realizing that your stuck here indefinitely because of career, and mortgages, and family.
The shoulder rubbing refers to the garmie feel-up. And I forgot to mention frozen hashbrowns with the other ingredients. It's fawsome.

I ain't here for a haircut so I will just get it out there for you to stew on. I like salt with my tequila, on my street and of course on road kill...I think we can conclude I would like SLC.

Carry on Cherubs.

Obligatory Bendover gambling/fun bus comment here.